My well-worn friend

There's something about an old prayer booklet. The well-worn, or well-worn-out, friend whose the binding is loose (if not missing) and there's no need to dog-ear a page as it opens to exactly the right spot after weeks, months or years of training.

Every once in a while I'll see someone before Mass or at Adoration diligently making their way through their favorite booklet, which more often than not is also jammed with novena pamphlets, holy cards and whathaveyou, and held together by a thick rubber band. I love it.

Yesterday I picked up one of my favorite "veterans", a small booklet of novenas and prayers to St. Gerard.

I prayed this book every day while pregnant with my first child and I've been praying it again now that I'm pregnant with our second. The binding (two staples that were not built for this type of use) is shot.

Months too late I finally put it in a plastic cover, only to pick it up yesterday and watch the bound pages spill out while the cover stayed tucked in the plastic. I slipped the first few and last few pages back into the plastic cover and it's back in place, but I have to be gentle. I could get a new one, but I don't want to. I love the history with this book.

I remember finding out I was pregnant and immediately feeling the need to get to the local Catholic bookstore and get a prayer book. I was a lukewarm Catholic at the time, but I felt a pull to ask for intercession on this amazing journey. I Googled "patron saint of expectant parents" and up popped St. Gerard.

The next day at lunch break I stopped by the bookstore and found a Pauline media prayer book to him. I started praying a novena - something I had never done before. I was impressed I finished the whole thing. Nine whole days. A big deal at the time! The booklet also had a small set of Morning and Evening prayers, so I added those in, too. The St. Gerard booklet was like dipping my toe into the waters of a real, faithful practicing Catholic. Two months later I would be led to the Rosary, and back to Our Lady and, finally, back to her Son.

That St. Gerard booklet was a wonderful start back on my faith journey. The thought of replacing it with a new one saddens me. This booklet has so many good memories, like the times I carefully tucked it in my carry-on luggage during trips to California and Las Vegas, or on local retreats. Even the pages that sport bite marks from my cat (she was jealous of the bedtime attention I paid to St. Gerard) make me smile.

And how, after going into labor, I scrambled to pack and refused to forget the booklet or my Rosary. I remember waking up at 5 a.m., just hours before my C-section and praying the booklet and getting a final Rosary in, too, just for good measure as my husband tried to sleep four feet away on a couch that allegedly doubled as a bed. I was excited and nervous, and having that booklet with me helped me prayerfully pass the time until we met our daughter.

So instead of replacing the booklet, I need to gently care for it like the personal treasure it is. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to pass it down to my daughter and St. Gerard can be her companion on her exciting journey, too.