Good News & Not-Really-Bad News

I have good news and not-really-bad news on my blogging scene.

Not-Really-Bad News: I've decided to put A Third Way on hiatus. Temporary hiatus.

I started this blog to detail my third-order vocation journey. And, given where I'm at with my vocation of wife and mother right now (and for a while), a third order is not in the cards. Just not now.

I don't have the time to discern, make meetings and really give myself completely over to the process, let alone postulancy. My kids are young and my time is theirs right now, not my own. I could try discernment and possibly even postulancy, I know my husband would support me, but I don't want to force it.

I want to enjoy the whole process. And I know that right now this time crunch would not let me. I'd be at meetings fearing my cell phone is gonna vibrate with the news my little boy won't go to sleep. Or I'd be looking at my watch, wondering if I can get a quick run in to the grocery store after the chapter meeting and before I get home. Unless God shows me otherwise - or drops a free nanny from the sky, lol - it ain't gonna happen for the foreseeable future.

It will happen, I know it will. I still feel very strongly called to a third order, most likely The Dominicans. But I also feel called that the time is not right currently to embark on that amazing journey. When it is time, A Third Way will be back up and running.

The Good News: I'm going to continue posting at my new blog, Contagious Catholic. I've been secretly setting this up for me - and you - over the past week. I wanted the place clean and the lights on before I invited you in. It's still not finished, but it's good for posting.

Now, the really good news. If you enjoy reading A Third Way, you'll enjoy reading Contagious Catholic because it's the same blog, just a different name. The perfectionist in me has been going crazy posting under a blog name that doesn't really fit the content. Contagious Catholic does. So, it's second verse, same as the first over there.

So please join me over at Contagious Catholic. We'll continue to have fun. And go see how I came up with the name, it's a good story.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Take that Bible off the shelf

A couple of weeks ago I missed my regular 11 a.m. Mass at my parish, so I hit the 5 p.m. "last call" service in a neighboring town.

I really enjoy the priest at this parish, he has a very kind, uplifting way about him, while celebrating a beautiful, faithful Mass.

During the homily, Father had an aside that made me think. He noted, and I'm paraphrasing here:

"When you have your Bible at home, don't leave it on the shelf! Wherever you have it, leave it open so the Word of God is invited out. You should always display your Bible open."

It makes a lot of sense. A Bible buried in a bookshelf vs. a Bible displayed open on a table - it's a no-brainer as to which I would pick up more frequently.

So I've removed my study Bible from the shelf (which tells you how my, um, studying is going ;-) ) and placed it on the home altar, open. Where it should have been all along, now that I think of it!

Welcome to our home, please excuse the mess

Have you ever had anyone stop by your home or office, and it's a mess?

As in, you're happy to have the company and you love to see this person, but you're mortified at the state of your surroundings?

Yes, I most certainly have. And, it's also kinda the way I feel about the Pope's visit this week.

I am so happy he's coming. We need him here so much. But I am so embarrassed by the state of my country. I love my country, it's a place of hope and still a land of opportunity.

But it's also mired in a morass of moral relativism, a place where most people are obviously living for this world, not the next. It's a country whose citizens - if you listen to the mainstream media (and I don't anymore) - have their emphasis on all the wrong things.

I don't mean to come off as holier-than-thou in this post. I don't mean to convey the message, Be like me! Rather, my point is, Be like Him! I don't feel superior to those less faithful at all. I feel sad. Sad for me, sad for our country and sad for them.

I know we're hardly the only country in the world who has seemingly abandoned its Christian roots. I just hope the Pope realizes that there are millions in this country who love him and love the Lord. Holy Father, just don't turn on the TV, OK? And, please, don't mind the mess. We're so glad to have you here.

The Lazy Afternoon of the Soul

Hello friends!

I didn't mean to let my Easter vacation from the blog turn into an extended absence, but it's been a weird time, spiritually. I've felt very "blah," that's the best way I can explain it.

It's not a Dark Night of the Soul, I don't feel like God isn't there for me. I've been feeling like I'm not there for God. Prayer has been difficult, attending Mass a chore. Two things that until now I was all fired up for. It's more like The Lazy Afternoon of the Soul.

It all came to a head at the end of Lent. I was feeling very lazy, spiritually. It was sad because Easter is supposed to be such a joyous time, and I was feeling, well, tired - and lazy. I think "sloth" is technically the correct word, but you get the drift.

I attended Holy Saturday Mass, the first time I've ever been. It was so glorious, that's the only word I think of to describe it. My parish does an amazing job - full choir, brass quintet, the whole nine yards. I got there just before Mass started, and since I was feeling blah, I sat in the back, on the aisle. I usually sit in the front pew, but this time I didn't feel like it.

Ironically, it turned out to be the best place to sit as the Easter fire and candle ceremonies (is that the right word?) were right in front of me. It was so beautiful. And when Father came around hurling baptismal water into the pews, I was literally smacked in the face like a wave. It was pretty funny, and a good wake-up call!

But, alas, Holy Saturday didn't reignite the fire. I've been slowly persisting ever since. Forging ahead with prayer, attending Mass, and trying to get that fire relit. I'm not questioning the faith or having any major crisis, thankfully. It's just this kind of laziness I've got going on. It's the first time I've experienced this since my re-beginning in the faith, and I know I have to "fake it till I make it." I know I'm going through this for a reason, and I will forge ahead and get my mojo back.

It makes me think of a part of a talk on the Engaged Encounter weekend - the concept that all marriages go through cycles of romance, disillusionment and joy. This, I feel, is no different. I'm not disillusioned with the faith or with God, but rather with myself, spiritually.

Plus, I seem to be effected more recently with other worries and concerns. I know there's a direct result between not praying regularly and an increase in worry, so I need to get back on the stick in my prayer routine. The hymn in Evening Prayer Saturday really spoke to me and reassured me:

Green pastures are before me,
Which yet I have not seen;
Bright skies will soon be o'er me,
Where the dark clouds have been.
My hope I cannot measure,
The path to life is free;
My Savior has my treasure,
And he will walk with me.

I think one thing I'll do (in addition to regular prayer) is start making some Rosaries. I haven't made any in ages, and it will help me get excited again, maybe grace through osmosis?

So that's the deal from here. I'm working on getting myself spiritually back in shape. Any suggestions - and prayers - are most welcome!

Divine Mercy Novena starts today

Before I log off for the Triduum, I wanted to remind you that the Divine Mercy Novena starts today!

I totally forgot, but was reminded - thankfully - in a couple places yesterday. Phew!

Two years ago I prayed the Novena for a big decision in my life and was incredibly graced.

So, for now, time to dig out my Divine Mercy prayerbook and wish you all a prayerful weekend and a joyful Easter!

I took the picture at the top of this post in September 2006 at the Divine Mercy Shrine in Stockbridge, Mass. I forgot to set the flash on the camera, and took this from the top steps looking in.

Play date apologetics

Did the transubstantiation come up in your play date today?

It did in mine. Seriously, I don't know what it is about me. I think God is trying to tell me something.

Another play date, another round of Do-I-or-Don't-I Apologetics.

The kids and I were over another mom's house for the first time. She's lovely, so are the kids. The first playgroup was at our place, so we do know a little bit about each other.

We started talking about Easter plans and I mentioned it would be a long day for the kids as we start with church, then head over to my brother's, etc.

The mom said she hadn't taken her children to church yet because she was unsure of how they'd do. I told her a little about our parish, how it's very family-friendly, etc. I mentioned the name, and the mom says, "That's Catholic, right?" (Anyone else have a habit of assuming everyone is Catholic?) Turns out she (no religion growing up) and her husband (ex-Catholic) are Episcopalian.

The moms says she has attended Mass with her in-laws, but feels out of place because she can't take Communion. At this point, the flashing red police-car light is going off wildly in my head because I'm afraid of where this is going,

In a totally curious (not mean) way, the mom says, "I wonder why that is because Protestants let everyone take Communion."

There we are, sitting on the floor together, the kids playing, and I have half a second to figure out whether to kindly explain or pretend I don't know the background on one of the major splits in Christianity.

I jumped in nicely.

"Well, Catholics (I pointedly didn't say 'we' so as not to sound defensive or snobby) believe the bread and wine actually become Jesus' body and blood. So it wouldn't be right for others who don't believe the same to take Communion."

I said it as nicely, gently and non-confrontationally as I could. It was the first time I ever had the guts to do a little apologetics/explanation.

The mom said, "Oh, wow," kinda like "I didn't know that" and we moved on.

Here's hoping next week God doesn't throw apostolic succession in between potty training and toddler eating habits chat.

Natural Family Planning: Too Good and So True, Part 2

In the comments on Part 1, Stevie noted, "I love NFP conversion stories."

What a great term - "NFP conversion story" - because that's certainly what it is, I just never thought of it like that.

Anyway, after we had our first daughter, we hoped to be blessed with more. Ironically, while it took us 1.5 years to conceive our daughter, once we decided to conceive our son it happened almost immediately. This left our little ones 1.5 years apart. And while we hope to be blessed with more, we now would like to have at least 2 years between our son and future sibling (God willing).

Given we were always trying to conceive previously, we never had to worry about postponing pregnancy. Now that we are, we were led to NFP.

We've completed two of the three classes with our Couple to Couple League instructors and it's really amazing.

Going in, we were both a little "Um, is it going to be weird talking about this stuff with strangers?" But it wasn't. The couple is very real, funny and down-to-earth. The charting and interpretation are easy to learn - especially since I'm the type of person who likes to read material on my own and also be instructed in person.

Every morning, the alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. and my husband rolls over and hands me the thermometer. I give him the reading, he writes it down, then we both try to catch a few more Zzzzzs. It takes about a minute and a half.

Twice a day (afternoon and before bed) I check myself for signs of fertility. Total, that takes about a minute. My husband charts the info, and we both know where we are in my fertility cycle. We've invested 2.5 minutes out of the day and gained so much in terms of communication, closeness and more.

When I read up on NFP earlier, it was via a secular book. The approach is the same, but the book lacks the all-important theology behind NFP. At the time, I was reading the book, taking my temp, checking my signs and charting. It was all me. And given I hadn't any instruction or anyone to answer questions, I got discouraged and stopped practicing it. Plus, all the work was on me.

Now my husband and I are a team when it comes to fertility. We have our roles (he also does the charting), and every day we know where we are at with fertility, which leads us to discuss, "Are we open to life today?" This makes what was my fertility, our fertility, which is pretty amazing.

Since we started practicing just a couple months ago, we've discussed things we have never talked about before. We've learned so much about fertility and reproduction, we're both amazed. After nearly 10 years of marriage and 5 years presenting marriage prep, I thought we talked about everything. Not so! This has opened up a whole other area of openness, honesty and mutual decision making. Wow.

Our teachers told us an amazing stat at the last class. The divorce rate among all married couples today is, what, 50% at least? The divorce rate among those who practice NFP is 3%.

You can't beat that.

I'd encourage every couple to give NFP a try. I honestly think, in just my limited experience, that once you try it you'll love it. Check the CCL Web site for more information on classes in your area, or call your diocese's family life office.

Also, I think it would be a great thing for single women to practice. Granted, you have to do all the work yourself (and even that is not much, less than 5 minutes a day), but it will give you an amazing, accurate look at your cycle and body. If your cycle ever gets irregular or you think you may be having gynecological issues, you will have all the data to take to your GYN for his or her thoughts. And when you're married and ready to achieve pregnancy, you'll be an expert on your own fertility and cycle.

In fact, during my first month of charting, my body temps were very, very low. So low, in fact, my instructor advised me to have my thyroid checked. I've got an appoint to meet with my doctor in 2 weeks to do just that. When I see him I can say, "I think my thyroid may be sluggish. Here are my waking temperatures for the past 60 days, what do you think?" Pretty cool.